I'm Reloading, Hold My Purse (Lady Balls: Part Deux)

Per a very special request, here it is...THIS IS A CALL TO ALL WOMEN, GIRLS, AND SOME VERY VERY GIRLY BOYS! LEND ME YOUR....i was going to say vagina, but that isn't really what I want....um how about your eyes? Eyes it is. So you ever watch a horror film with the fam or the sexy time friend and the main leading lady thing winds up running around screaming her head off instead of thinking through the problem? (and might consider that maybe continuously running upstairs is a bad idea). Well this post is in regards to survival and women. (hint: always run when the theme music starts playing)

So for starters, you ever really notice that majority of the time in any kind of outdoor/survival situation, those of the female persuasion tend to not be so into it (unless they are awesome of course)? I completely understand. Hanging out in the cold or heat is exhausting, not showering for days on end, also not fun. I really hate freeze dried food...and bugs....and sleeping on the ground, but all in all, I never get as good of a sleep as I do when I camp. But this isn't in regards to general camping, this is if by some chance (probably a good one) something catastrophic happens and you have to suck it the fuck up and survive.

I've heard from a few, that their female counterparts do not take part in their survival ideals. I.E. food storage, medical supply storage, stocking guns/ammo, communication. I personally have encouraged all of these by being there to support my better half, as well as financially. Do I enjoy spending my money on medical supplies or radios for the car? not particularly. I'm a gamer....enough said. But I also see the need for these things and feel like it would be best to be prepared. I do not want to have to rely on the kindness of others to survive because they will be trying to survive themselves. By the by, screaming your head off, crying, falling down (multiple times), whining, and generally being an asshole will help no one. Especially you. Because they will leave your ass behind or eat you. (om nom nom)

Here's a good example of what not to do: The Road. (SPOILER ALERT: it sucked balls) I absolutely hated this movie. It was like a guide on how to be a fucking idiot. I watched this a couple years ago with my man, him thinking it would be a good learning experience, me just getting pissed off. The woman; a wife, and mother to a young child, goes absolutely banana balls, gives up on life, her husband, and her child, and completely dips out saying "peace bitches, I'm outie" and waltzes off into the cold wearing just about nothing. Like are you kidding me?! What feeble minded mewling quim (thank you Avengers) just up and leaves because they don't feel like making any decisions anymore aside from being a little bitch. (the rest of the movie was just as terrible, but this being the beginning, kinda set the tone) What do we learn from this? Be more like the chick from Vikings.

It's time to take charge of yourself, calm yo tits, and support your supporter. Now in mine and Mr. Tacticals relationship, things are more or less even. When it comes to the more tactical things, I rely on him to lead me because he is the authority on such matters in this household. When it comes to the medical chest, (even though that shit makes me woozy) that is my domain. I organize that shit like a beeotch. But that just means that when something happens, I know where things are, everything is labeled and everything is in its own container. We both do the guns because....well because they're awesome. When the time comes and something does happen, we will be (some assemblance) of prepared. Is it going to be fun? Hell no. Am I looking forward to it?

But to me, the fact that I will be alive and that my family will be protected, means more to me than.....than....indoor plumbing. hot showers? ah shit I'd miss that. But it's still more worth it to me. You need to start taking responsibility for yourself. When things go to hell, you will have no one to blame for your short comings but yourself and anyone that you allow into your life that discourages being prepared. Anyone that you allow into your inner circle that has any kind of pull on your thoughts or actions should be of like mind, or they should stay just a friend or acquaintance.

We need to be supporters in every capacity (like a bra...lol boobs). Supporters of our families, of our children, of our men (or women if you're into that kind of thing) and mainly, a supporter of ourselves. So seriously now, stop pushing things to the back of your mind because they are unpleasant. Stop putting off things that should be prepared now while you still have the ability to do so. So really,

Vix out!

Dutch Oven Your Special Someone

No, I don't mean release the fumes of hell demons and hold your unsuspecting lover under the covers until they know your scent and can never leave (don't they do that with horses?)....or you know...suffocate. I personally wouldn't want to breathe fart dust, but that's just me. Anyways, I'm talking about Dutch Oven cooking....over a fire. I've only had experience with this for about three years as Mr. Tactical is the only person I know with a Dutch Oven. Luckily, I love to cook....and camp and shoot (was overall a great weekend)

My first experience with the D.O. (got tired of typing out Dutch Oven....and again) was our first weekend camping ever (collective AWWWWWW) I got to play (ok maybe not play, "experience") with different guns as well as show off some of my wonderful cooking skills to show I was worth keeping around and had some general usefulness. (aside from being a pretty good shot...not bragging, just sayin') Now my cooking method is, look at some recipes, take the best ideas from each and then just make something absolutely mind-blowingly, food baby inducing nomage. If you come to one of his classes during September-November, you most likely will be able to sup on this as well.

Exhibit 1: Whitney's' Wilderness Stew

Normal ingredients being MEAT (nom nom nom) fresh chopped veggies, broth of some kind, and a smattering of spices. Turned out great. (obviously, I'm still here three years later) You basically get a good bed of coals going and hang the D.O. over the fire and get it nice and hot. I sauté some chopped garlic with onions and butter, add a little flour to make a roux, and then basically pour everything else in gradually. I love the D.O. because it allows it to get a nice woodsy smokey flavor without using the store bought crap. During that trip, we fired up the woodstove to keep it warm for the next day. The last time I made it, it stayed overnight in the D.O. over the fire and we had it for breakfast....it's that good. (Happy oh so steamy boyfriend)

Exhibit 2: MDT Chicken (no picture, sorry, we ate it)


Simple yet delicious. We took chicken quarters, placed them in the hot D.O. with soy sauce, worcestershire sauce, teriyaki, chopped garlic, (we even added orange slices) and let it simmer for about 45 minutes. We loved it, kids loved it, we even adapted it for non D.O. cooking and added Montreal steak seasoning. (I love that stuff, I even put it on my turkey)


You can do so many things with Dutch Oven (damn it) cooking. Seriously, Youtube that shit. You can make dessert (cobbler, brownies, cookies), rolls, all kinds of things. I mean seriously, food makes you happy, fuck shit up, go crazy, make new things. Find ways to make food you dislike, edible. Catch a squirrel. grill that bitch. (it's actually pretty good for a woodland creature)  I mean look at this happy (very blonde...wtf Whitney) smiling face!

In conclusion, cook something. Your stomach and your man will thank you for it. (or whatever you decide to date....everyone likes food)


Vix Out!

Snowmageddon 2015 and You! tips and tricks

So while sitting here in our home, snuggly and warm....well kinda warm, with Mr. Tactical, as it is snowing its balls off (haha snowballs) I realize that I'm pretty grateful for the things that I have. A house (full of blankets), warm clothes, and a warm boyfriend to stick my cold extremities on. It's times like this where I'm bundled up and working from home that I wonder, lets just say, what would have or could have happened if I did have to go to work today. I have friends that don't have anything in their car in case of emergency. I know that not most people can fit in their car is not the same as what I can put in mine, but you have to do something. I got stuck at work last week with a dead battery and no jumper cables and I felt helpless, so what would happen if say you got stuck out in the elements for even the shortest amount of time? It is cold as a witches tit outside (is that still a thing? witches tit?)

So for starters, what would you say would be good things to have in your car in case of an emergency? well for starters, what can keep you warm in an emergency? I've got plans. Plans on plans. Always have a spare change of clothes, something that will be durable and if you wind up getting wet for some reason, you have something dry to change into. I have a blanket as well as a sleeping bag in my car just in case I get stranded for any amount of time in the below freezing temperatures. I also have a pair of Matterhorn insulated boots....ebay...$45, it isn't that difficult to plan for emergencies Having some form of nibbles or snackums handy wouldn't be such a bad idea either, i mean really, all of that chihuahua shivering really burns some calories.

Another good idea would be to have some kind of first aid preps in place just in case there are cuts and scrapes along the way as well as if you run into others that may have had some mishaps. You know me, I've done other posts concerning medical supplies and how I am about hoarding useful things (*cough* boyfriend *cough*). 

Two words: FLARE GUN (you know, if that kind of thing is legal in your state) It doesn't take up much space and can be put underneath a seat or something. It could mean the difference between being stuck in a snow drift and no way for anyone to find you (turning into a human popsicle...mmmm delicious) and being found by another driver.

Also, (unfortunately) if you have kids that are driving (ok she isn't mine, but.....she's mine) it would be good to have them prepped to the point where their friends look in the trunk and go "O EM GEE I can't even!" (yeah....that serious) Get them one of those window breaky/seat belt cutty things, fill every nook and cranny with useful things and make sure they know how and when to use them. Keep yo kids safe. I've got a hand crank cell phone charger in my vehicle in case my car and my phone die. You know how kids are with cell phones...

Basically all you need to do is just think "hmmm if I was stuck in the cold, what could i not live without for at least a couple of hours" and then stuff as much of that shit in your car as you possibly can without seeming like one of those weird car hoarders where it't nothing but empty food containers and clothes.

Oh! and my cat caught a mouse today! 

So I'm going to sit here all snuggled up with my guy and my pup, under my fuzzums blanket, full of pizza, and watch a movie. Be safe, stay warm, and keep prepping!

Vix Out

Motivational and Shit

So it's come to my attention that there has been a bunch of hate going on lately in our small community and it has pretty much touched everyone (like that creepy dude no one wants to be around at parties). So seriously. Get Your Shit. Karma will sort it out so really, it's ok. So much hate has been flying around and much of it is a bunch of bull. So really. Control people....

Go eat a cheese burger. Have awesome sex. Watch a movie. Take a nap. I mean seriously calm yo tits. I wish i had the cheeseburger but i fully intend on doing the other things at some point today.

 The only thing that you can do in the current situation, is be yourself, trust in god (if you so choose, not trying to go all religious debate here) and chill the eff out. You don't have to answer to anyone at the end of the day but yourself. So if you're fucking up, fix it. If you're fucking someone over, fix it. If you need to be fucked, fix it (in a non-rapey way). It is up to you to decide what is and is not ok in your life, and fix it. Or to accept the shit that happens, and just live your life and move on. If your sole purpose is to try and sabotage someone....seriously....check yourself. See what is wrong in your life and make a change...possibly into an awesome whale.

I'm not saying I'm not guilty of this. I just realized that it isn't important to let others screw with you without your consent. Trying to fuck with someones life is a personal issue and maybe you should consider getting your head checked....or see a therapist...or that super cool whale. I have so many issues. I have problems, I have a job, I have a life, I have a boyfriend, and I make so many mistakes. But that is life. The point is to recognize the bad and bomb the shit out of that m'fer.

Ok so enough ranting. Just some shit to consider. Also a cute pibble confused about strawberries....

Vix OUT

Homeopathic Merriment and Scottish Smut

Over the past weekend, I took a trip with my mom and sister in law to Iowa. Why Iowa? (yeah, wtf is in Iowa) well, my moms favorite author was in town for a convention aptly named "Thru The Stones" for the Outlander series, ie: Scottish smut book. (They're amazing btw....and the idea was based off of early Doctor Who episodes...and we met the author and Graham McTavish...the beard....) All in all, (aside from no schmexy boyfriend) it was an amazing weekend, and my moms best birthday to date.

Being as I work in the convention and housing field, it was a bit weird going to a convention. They offered classes geared towards the time period where the books take place (which is 18th century Scotland). I wound up taking the 18th century medical class, Scottish dance, BEEEEEES, and Edible Landscape (geared towards Iowa.....that really helps me here on the east coast....)

Kind of interesting and probably important information to know, the medicine class was geared towards what plants have what purposes and the bee class was all about beekeeping (and for some reason how to make pie crust....) But anyways, there was quite a bit of useful information that I figured i would share since mostly all you have to do is plant some shit or build a bee box and BAM partial self sufficiency. Edible Landscape was kind of a bust aside from "plant some trees!" so i left early...that and my sister in law was making faces and dancing through the door window...

So for starters: FUN PLANTS! plants that have other properties that will be very useful if you are unable to get modern medicines.

So first off, there are the ways that these can be used: Tincture, Compress, Poultice, and Ointments/Salves.

Tincture: Macerate in alcohol/water for 7-14 days and then strain and compress. It can be used topically or internally (in moderation).
Compress: Use clean linen (cheese cloth or muslin) soak in the Tincture.
Poultice: Crushed/Ground herbs adding water, whiskey, or fat to moisten if the herbs are dried. Apply to skin, make sure it is hot/warm temperature. Used for burns/open wounds. you layer cloth/herbs to prevent sticking, and often covered with wool flannel to preserve heat.
Ointment/Salves: Base of lard/butter/suet/lanolin/goose or duck grease. Addition of powdered herbs or strong tee, add bees wax to add firmness (yeah...bees ;) I plan on making my own ointment later once i collect all the ingredients, and I'll do a post on that at a later date)

Speedweed: (no. not quick pot delivery) Can be made into a tea. Good for cough, ulcers (internal, external), gout, skin diseases (eczema/psoriasis), good diaphoretic, alterative, expectorant, also effective for conditions of the chest and kidneys.

Comfrey: Use the root, or main leaf rib: (SMASH IT WITH A HAMMER) can be used after smashage, and placed on effected area, or used with a poultice in a paste form.
Use externally for bruises, sprains, dislocations, wounds, burns, ulcers, and skin disorders.
Internal uses include ulcers, stomach/intestine irritation, urinary tract, helps promote callus formation in fractures, reduces inflammation in tendon sheath, arthritis, hematoma, and swollen glands.

Yarrow: Use flowers and leaves: can be made into a Tincture (10-30 drops 1-4x/day) Use as tea (1 tsp/cup of water 1-4x/day), Poultice, or used topically.
It is an anti-inflammatory and astringent, strengthens the urinary tract system, veins, mucus membranes, anti-fungal, styptic, diaphoretic, and anodyne. Used as a tea (which is safer than the tincture): Taken hot, it induces sweating, taken cold it can be a diuretic. It can help with the first stage of colds/fevers, bleeding, hemorrhoids, and Shark week problems.

Calendula: Use flowers prior to opening. Use as a tea (2-3 heaping Tbsp per cup of water) Use as tincture (1:5 ratio of plant to 20% Alchohol base...dont use too much) Use as a cytophylactic, antiseptic, anti-inflammatory, lymphagogue, antiviral/bacterial, choleretic, and demulcent. (I knew what these meant in the class, feel free to do your own research BIG wordsss :) Can be used on wounds, burns, bruises, boils, and rashes. Caution for preggers ladies thoug, has abortifacient effects. So a no go for the baby trains.

Plantain: (om nom nom) Use the leaves. Tincture: (1:1 ratio 15-40 drops 1-4x/day) Poultice fresh leaves. Use as an antiseptic, anti-bacterial, astringent, diuretic, and anti-inflammatory. Can be used to draw out splinters, help with UTI and respiratory infection. It is also good to add to cough syrup and is anti-inflammatory to mucus membranes.

Garlic: (Om nom nom) Use the cloves. Can be used as an anti-microbial/bacterial/fungal/parasitic. Mild anti-coagulant, diuretic, naturetic, anti-spasmodic, hypoglycemic, anti-thrombotic, it protects the liver, inhibits tumor growth, supports immune function, decreases plaque buildup in the arteries, good for infectious diseases, clears up dysentery (if only i had had this while playing the Oregon trail) reduces peripheral vascular disease, diabetes, and liver disease. Garlic is pretty much the shiz.

I have more, but my hand is starting to cramp (bad flashbacks of college writing) so to that I say To Be Continued...

(The woman that did this class's name is Pamela Taylor ND and she has a book so yeah. consider it)

For the bees, there was a lot of instruction on bee keeping, ordering bees, how to drain the honey from the comb, and how to clean the wax to use for candles, ointments etc. (it takes 7lbs of honey to make 1lb of wax....lots of hard work) It also takes 90lbs of honey to get a box of bees through the winter, they also included a list of annuals, perennials, vegetables, trees, and shrubs that attract honeybees. speaking of honey, did I mention i sell honey? I know I have, and Oh Em Gee, look. Buckwheat honey! It's sooooo dark and rich and full of vitamins and antioxidants! DELICIOUS and in fun tactical packs! (glamour shot glamour shot)

Ok I'm done :) I will do a more in depth instruction on bees for my next post because it really is pretty interesting. I know i took too many notes. I'll post the honey/cooking recipes too. BTW did you know that honey on buttered biscuits is DELICIOUS? I found that out. I don't even like honey but this was like crack (not that i know what crack is like, but i've heard it has quite addictive qualities) I've been dreaming about it all week (biscuits, not crack).

Vix out

Ermahgerd Appersauce (Canning and YOU)

So every fall season for the past three years (yes. three glorious years with Mr. Tactical, where did the tacti-time go...) I've been canning homemade applesauce. Typically I make around 3-4 batches and then can them for later use. (or holiday gifts, my dad loves this stuff....) Last year i was able to make around 18 pint ball jars for storage. It's really not that difficult honestly (just a bit time consuming), and it will help you stock up and prepare for the tough months ahead. Canning is a good way to supplement your food supply that has quite a long shelf life. We have canned spaghetti sauce we received from a family member. Canned jam, fruit, veggies. Get a dehydrator. Educate yourself. You have the ability to grow, and save your own personal stock of noms. We have apple and peach trees where we live. It's a good idea to get something that basically provides for you every year so you can continue to prepare. I mean, look at this:

Delicious apple nom noms. Honestly, i don't like applesauce, but I like mine. Find something that you can make that will keep, and that you like, or can fix up so you like it. You can doctor many things. YOU CAN NEVER HAVE TOO MUCH FOOD STOCKED UP.

Being as the winter months are coming up, you need to consider the possibility that if you live in an area that gets bad weather, you may be stuck in your home without a way to go get provisions. Do you have a way to keep warm? Do you have food put away? We have about 5 loaves of bread in our freezer. I never thought i would be one of those crazy people who freezes bread. Powdered milk. Rice. Possibly something to spice up the rice since rice sucks.....same thing with the beans....hate beans. But beans and rice make a whole protein so there you go (still hate beans). Hunt. It's hunting season. Get deer. Rabbit. Squirrel (actually quite tasty). Get a bear. Have a bear skin rug. Put it in front of the fire and keep warm (you know. all romantic and shit. How awesome would that be. I killed you this bear...). You don't want to be stuck having to break into a Dorito truck like those people in Buffalo that got snowed in (how romantic. I brought you Doritos. not anywhere near as cool as "hey i brought you a bear" but i guess it works). Especially if you don't have access to a Dorito truck as it would make such an endeavor quite difficult. Prepare yourselves....Winter is coming....

Where are the Streamers? What, no Streamers?

So today I did something that many Americans have also done. I VOTED! (loud screams and applause). Now this was my first mid-term election EVER. I voted for the presidential race in 2008, but due to other circumstances, have not had the ability to vote since.

Now agree with voting or not, the reason this post comes up is because of all those that I ran into today that didn't vote. Not that they are objecting to the system, not because they didn't have time after work (I walked in at 7 after work, not an excuse unless you're working all day or have some other full day obligation....or if you aren't a resident...or a bear...anyways). My dilemma is that people my age are not voting. Not out of protest but because they really don't care. They didn't vote because they didn't know who they would be voting for. They didn't research. They didn't take the time to see who, whether they decide to vote or not, will be representing them in their state.

Now, this is a bit depressing to me. I've heard so many people that decide to object to voting because they feel that their voice will not be heard anyways. Fine, you don't wanna, don't do it. That is your right as an American. But to not even care who is running? kinda silly. It will effect you whether you object to it or not. So why not try and understand what is going to be happening to you over the next couple of years.

I'm 26. This is the second time I've voted in MY LIFE. I'm perfectly ok with this. Whether delusional or not, I feel like I'm contributing at least the tiniest little bit.(don't crush my dreams!) The place I went? they used paper ballads because they don't trust the machines. It's run by people who want to be there. It was a very positive feel after going through a typical customer service day where on a good day I've lost at least 5% of my faith in humanity. Consider that 5% restored after tonight. Looking like an idiot, wondering what to do, where to stick the ballot....worth it. Social anxiety problems totally worth it.

I know there are going to be many that disagree. I'm not saying you're an idiot for not voting. I'm saying that if you don't take the time to educate yourself about your future, that's irresponsible....and from a very new adult. Now I'm going to get into my footy pajamas and watch Disney movies....

Vix out.