WMD is Armed

Hello, happy internet peoples, it has been a while. Not that you all really care for any reason or another, but I figured that I would let you in as to why. Here's a really amazing post that will explain a little bit of the detail:

A Moment of Happiness…

We (Mrs. DTG and I) were honored to attend the wedding of our good friends, Chris & Whitney Dodge in the last couple weeks.  Besides enjoying the spectacular fall weather and local amenities, we were pleased beyond measure to see not only old friends but meet new ones as well; a good time was had by all, to say the least.   The reception dinner was superb; the cake topper was unique, and clearly stated what could have been the catch phrase for all of us who attended:

“I’ve got your back!”

We extend our best wishes for a happy marriage and life to Chris & Whitney!

That's right, my like minded friends. We got hitched. Mr. Tactical and I, enjoyed many friends and family coming together for an amazing evening of food, fun, music, and cake, that ended in us being a Mr. and Mrs. Thank you so much Mr and Mrs DTG for that awesome post, and I am so glad that you both could make it to celebrate with us. It really meant the world to me and my Mr.

As anyone that has ever had a wedding before, can tell you that it's one big cluster fuck of flowers, colors, favors, and a mass of decisions that matter to no one else but you, but damn it, those table decorations will be perfect. Basically you put yourself, your significant human, friends, and your parents through wedded bliss hell, for just a few hours of well planned lovitute. 

I will tell you that we are very relieved that it's over, but in all honesty, the day could not have been more perfect. Yes, things went wrong, but hey. The weather was amazing, my dress fit, and my tacti-husband was waiting for me at the end of that brick road (it wasn't yellow, but home was still there regardless). So there you have it. After about a year of planning and panic, one week of wanting to vomit out of sheer stress, one day that breezed by quicker than I would have thought possible, and one week in the wonderful warm Florida weather (with an amazing room and food...and stuff), we're back to reality, and stocking up for the impending doom...I mean, Election. Thank you to everyone that came (I know some of you read the blog) and we appreciate everyone that could make it out, and understand for those of you that could not. Love our Framily (friend/family).

WE'RE HITCHED BITCH!

WMD out for now ;)

Eat Slugs, You Know. The Shell-less Snail.

So it's come to this....I have never been so ashamed to have ever been affiliated with the disgrace that calls themselves the III % (3 people is more like it) society as I am right now. It's come to my attention that there has been some unwarranted trash mouth by a particular asshole (I guess an asshole has a purpose, and that's to spew shit) that's a major part (about the only part at this point...)of the III person society. So apparently it's come down to fat shaming. Really? You have nothing better to do with your time than to attack someone's wife that has not done a damn thing to you aside from support her husband?

"To be polite." Are you for real. (btw, we know you are also "anonymous". you aren't fooling anyone) You really have no other ground to stand on than to pick on a woman. A woman who's taking steps to better herself. I'm sorry, but unless you are in the peak of physical condition (which judging from pictures, you're not) you really shouldn't be pointing fingers. But I guess that goes to show that only the most attractive people are part of the III person society. All the glitz and the glamour of running every single one of your board members off must come with a bit of Diva Drama every now and again I guess...

I find the "slag(s)" addition interesting as well. I guess that includes me...well fuck. Because I really need validity from a man who can't own a gun (but...but...the knives). As far as referring to my friend the "meth head", I guess no one can make past mistakes huh? (extortion?...womp womp). The state of this movement has turned into a travesty. I guess you know when it's reached it's peak when you really have nothing else to go off of than calling someone's wife fat and ugly because they whooped your ass in court. It's like a really bad "your mama" joke. Yet again. Grow the fuck up. Guess I'll be on the chopping block next (get it...knives), not like I wasn't already:

Yup. that's it. I'm fat and ugly apparently (but I've got a great personality!!!!) Well, I'd rather be (apparently) fat and ugly, than an actual piece of shit (or, ugly on the inside...i guess that's where i was going with that). So if I am a slug, I'll wear that badge with pride. I support my Mr. Tactical. I am PROUD you hear me? I AM FUCKING PROUD, and will stand by him, because that is what you do with family and your friends. So suck a dick. (bahaha eat slugs... just letting the irony of this picture sink in...)

Lisa, you are beautiful and an amazing woman. Especially for putting up with this shit. Show Lisa some love here. We're all here to support each other. I guess we're all getting a little fed up with the BS...here.

Vix out.

Fuck It Bucket

Well Hello....It's been a while. It's been hard to get motivated and find the time to give any fucks lately for anything. Lets just consider this me being lazy for a while. I transformed into a wee kitty cat and have just been working on being a badass (thus the laziness). Plus a lot of new exciting things were going on that meant, well, sorry, you guys took a back seat to everyone around me having babies. And lets face it. Even though they look like mini alien people, they are cute. and loud.

So it's come to my attention lately that there have been lots of names and things thrown around in the patriot community. It's really kind of funny at this point, like reading a very trashy tabloid, which is also funny, because I tend to avoid those in real life (because who really needs to continue seeing Kim Kardashian's ass). Everyone is so concerned with getting up in everyone else's shit that they aren't focusing on their own and how their tiny little paper town is burning to the ground. Guess what. Honestly? No one could give two shits who it is you decide to vote for. Honestly, they all suck. I have a friend who loves Hillary. I personally, think she's terrible. But you know what? I listen to her reasons as to why she wants to vote for her. Because I'm not an asshole. I may disagree with her, but i don't jump all over her, stick my finger in her face and tell her that she's wrong. Everyone has their own reasons. You don't have to shove yours down everyone's throats. This is not porn....

These things can be discussed without turning into freaking hyenas attacking a dead antelope. And all the name calling? That shows that you have ABSOLUTELY no grounds to stand on what so ever, and really, no class at all (you know who you are. for SHAME) Especially going after one's family for grounds of going after your original target. That's like getting in an argument with someone about waffles or pancakes:
Person 1: Oh, I really like pancakes, I think they are great, so fluffy.
Person2: Oh? I prefer waffles, but pancakes are cool.
Person 1: I CAN'T BELIEVE IT. YOU LIKE WAFFLES OVER PANCAKES? WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK, YOUR MOTHER IS A SCALY LIZARD BEAST PROSTITUTE AND YOU ARE A FAT, UGLY, TOAD LICKING KUMQUAT.
Person 2: MY MOM IS A PRETTY LADY.

Seriously. no one cares what your opinion is. (what's the saying? opinions are like assholes?) So stick that in your "shut the fuck up" cup and move on. I understand that some people LITERALLY have no other reason for living aside from trying to creep under someone's skin. (ew. skin people....flap flap flap) but life is short. Case in point: We recently had someone messaging my work saying that one form didn't include transgender as an option for registration. Not that they were transgender, but that if someone else was, they might be offended and that they read a lot about it on the news. Really? you literally had nothing better to do with your day then write to a company and complain about an issue that isn't even a problem you are having....I wish I had that much spare time in my life to not have to worry about real life problems, and mess with someone who is forced to converse with you. (LET ME LOVE YOU)

So anyway. I figured it was time for a good rant. I guess life has just been too peachy up until this point and it all finally had to spew out in a cloud of word vomit. I'm just sick of it. Everyone bickering back and forth and no one actually working towards the betterment of anything. One side blaming the other for things not working out. I'm sorry, but if this were a relationship, it would lead to a very nasty divorce....kids divided, house burned down, dog thrown out in the cold, gramma having to work the street corner, nasty. So, I'll just sit over here, surrounded by my future plans, watching these assholes slowly destroy themselves, lose follower after follower, and continue to ask for funds for things that don't even matter anymore (because it's everyone else's responsibility to fund your endeavors right?) Just going to continue to toss these things into the Fuck it Bucket. Really. Grow up.

Vixie is back in session

PSA, for Serious Though. Where's the Love.

It's been a while good people of the blogosphere. Life tends to do that. But, I had a bit of a slap in the face from life today. The reason for this new update is due to a text message that i sent today. I'm going to be a part of a very close friends wedding in the next few months, so I have to root around like a truffle pig (snuffle snuffle) to get everything I need, as well as find a hotel. Completely random, I texted my schmexy tactical with two hotel names. He automatically shot back a choice and that was that. That's when it hit me. Guys can be complete dicks (chicks too, everyone can be fucked over, kinda the point of some relationships).

Kind of a strange segway, I know. Bit of back story is needed in this situation i guess....I used to date a complete deuche. Like if I had texted this to the previous love interest, it would have been an automatic "who did you mean to send this to?" "who are you getting a hotel room with?" No trust whatsoever. No life outside of him. Like threatened to punch me in the throat for swatting his hand away because I was sick and not in the mood, deuche. Like drag me into the yard and slit my throat if he ever found out i cheated on him serious (his actual words). Like used to get in my face and scream at me awful. It was all around an awful situation and i was a bit broken for a long while after (which believe me, the shy, mistrusting, awkward nerd....totally hot right?).  Now, I'm not completely blameless but who ever really is? I should have left before it got to the point of resenting each other. But that's my mistake. You live and learn. I learned that I can be pretty awesome when placed with the best partner on the planet (BAM tactical awesomeness!)

POINT BEING! If you are going to be with someone, be with someone that gets you. Someone that supports you and doesn't abuse you mentally OR physically. How do you expect to handle a survival situation with someone that makes you step on eggshells? The whole point is you need a partner. Someone that you can work together with. Lets face it, how do you expect to get through life during the collapse if you are scared of or hate the person that you are with?

I understand that it's really difficult when you are in these types of situations...but really. Get out. I was stuck in my own personal hell for near on 5 years. I was afraid to leave. He made me believe that I was too high maintenance, that i was too hard to love, that no one else would ever love me. It's been hard to come to terms with this shit believe me. I came close to leaving so may times, just to be dragged back in because he would cry and tell me everything that i wanted to hear, and I was brainless and actually believed him. This is about self love. Not in the masturbatory sense...(I mean if you're into that thing, have at it) Care about yourself enough to do what is best with you. Create your own little sanctuary. (surrounded by all your lovely canned food, you know. color coordinated, organized by date)

Be with someone that makes you want to do better, to be better. If you can't find that person, or you cant be that person, you would be better off alone. You don't need that kind of negativity in your life (shit, I should be a motivational speaker...)

Fast forward to the now, I'm in a stable healthy relationship. Nothing is perfect, but I mean, how are you not in a great relationship if you shop for canned food together, collect medical supplies, go to the range, (which also helps with the whole releasing anger thing...I can think of a few faces that I picture on that target), both equally adore meat snacks (om nom nom carnivore love). I will admit, i never get used to it. Waking up to treats in my car, the hugs, the trust. But I do know that I have a great partner that will never let me down. You need that assurance that you will be able to rely on the person you are with, otherwise, what's the point? You wont survive anyway...

If you need help, get help. There is always someone willing to help, you just have to be strong enough to reach out and ask. Sorry for the serious Public Service Announcement. I swear, next time will be more cheeky and fun :) But hey, I got in a few right? 

Vix out

Wait...You Used This for What??

So I'm a bit of a videogame nerd and recently got through "The Last of Us" (amazingly epic game, great graphics and awesome story). But basically there is this disease that infects people and you start playing (really playing) 20 years after said outbreak. You find old tv's, laptops, toys; things that wont really have as much of a place in the new world if there is some kind of collapse. The world will basically be completely different for new generations. So really, there are going to be things that would not make any sense to anyone that didn't grow up in that time (guess it already works a little that way but meh, this coming generation are already zombies anyway).

I was at work the other day and I have this cup that I got at some Christmas event a couple of years ago, and it made me wonder about all the things that, in the case of complete economic shutdown, years later, wouldn't make any fucking sense.

"I hate mondays" : Kinda funny now, because....well Mondays suck (i guess only if you don't work weekends). But in the case of total shut down, everyday will pretty much suck.....so thus the not making any sense.

The Kardashians: I mean, honestly. Have you ever seen a group of more useless people? (aside from the white house (new conspiracy: the Kardashians are running the white house...)) I'm sure the conversation would go like this: "sooo they were famous and got paid....to do nothing. They just did stuff and got paid for it? WTF I have to jump through hoops just to get my ration card..." Our society tries to glorify idiots who do nothing useful.

Most forms of currency: Unless it's edible, or has some form of use, currency won't really have much of a place in the world. I get a feeling that trade goods would become the new currency (or hell it could be bottlecaps like in fallout, or ration cards...).

Electronics: Honestly, that $1,000 Mac, or that expensive apple watch would just become glorified paper weights (and my gaming systems would never turn on again.....omg. I'd cry sad sad nerdy tears). Kinda one of those eye openers of spend money on trips/family, not things. Unless it's tactical things.....or guns.....buy guns....yes. Yet another reason why I have a nook, but still prefer to buy actual books. Other than just liking books...

Camping: Life will literally be like one big camping trip. People will not believe that you actually went out into the wilderness for "fun" and not for survival. You build a fire to stay warm and to cook food. "s'more, wtf is a s'more" (I mean real S'mores. not that BS yogurt/strawberry s'more they are trying to pass off now to be "healthy". S'mores aren't about healthy, they are about fucking american summer fire fun food. leave it alone) Soooo invest in sleeping bags....or supplies to make a hooch..

Non-hairy Women: I hate to say it because I love having legs as smooth as baby dolphins.....but most women will have to forego the razor due to lack of said razor, or due to trying to stay warmer. It's gonna suck. You're going to feel like you're snugglin a squatch....but hey. Furry love is better than no love at all...

Most forms of Communication: Not like you can hop in your land rover and go hit up your girl anytime you want. Cell Phones will be out (and the land rover). You'll most likely have to ruck over to see anyone, or try and set up a communication system like in The Postman....although not as cool because seriously...Kevin MFing Costner... (seriously though, good movie...)

Zoo's/Aquariums: Most of the animals that could escape, would escape, turning the world into a Safari. Sorry to say most of the Aquarium would be doomed though... (sorry Nemo)


This is all I could come up with currently, but I know that there are many many more. Feel free to comment with others that you can think of. Also, play The Last of Us....you'll thank me later....

Vix out...

*Public Service Announcement (Lady Balls Style)*

Well, it's come to my attention that my term has now been used on another well known blog that i have been aware of for quite some time (the blog that is); aware of it due to some unfortunate circumstances (I guess i should have trade marked the term huh?) SO if you see this, it's DEFINITELY not mine. Nor would I wish to be associated with this site at all (anymore. due to said unfortunate circumstances). Guess it's hard to come up with your own shit huh? Pretty sad really.

So anyway, I guess I'll have to come up with something newer and more innovative than Lady Balls to describe outstanding brave women with. To be honest, It's probably better this way....because balls are easily harmed (one tap and you've got yourself a genuine door stop). Vaginas can take a beating...

I know that I don't blog as much as I would like to (and as much as YOU would like as well *wink wink*) BUT that does not give the right to raid my shit like it's a Baltimore convenience store. That being said, ok fine, it isn't trademarked. Not like I'm going to take up every  Lady Balls web address, hoard all the Lady Balls, and not let it be used. But seriously? Very original thinking there....Although I guess that makes me quite the innovator in my early 20's.... (biggest form of flattery and all that)

Feel free to message anything you might be able to come up with to replace the term Lady Balls. I promise I wont STEAL your idea, (and if used, you would receive credit) I could honestly just use a laugh. Something like Uterine Warrior, or Vagina Viking (that's actually a pretty good one).

Vix Out

I'm Reloading, Hold My Purse (Lady Balls: Part Deux)

Per a very special request, here it is...THIS IS A CALL TO ALL WOMEN, GIRLS, AND SOME VERY VERY GIRLY BOYS! LEND ME YOUR....i was going to say vagina, but that isn't really what I want....um how about your eyes? Eyes it is. So you ever watch a horror film with the fam or the sexy time friend and the main leading lady thing winds up running around screaming her head off instead of thinking through the problem? (and might consider that maybe continuously running upstairs is a bad idea). Well this post is in regards to survival and women. (hint: always run when the theme music starts playing)

So for starters, you ever really notice that majority of the time in any kind of outdoor/survival situation, those of the female persuasion tend to not be so into it (unless they are awesome of course)? I completely understand. Hanging out in the cold or heat is exhausting, not showering for days on end, also not fun. I really hate freeze dried food...and bugs....and sleeping on the ground, but all in all, I never get as good of a sleep as I do when I camp. But this isn't in regards to general camping, this is if by some chance (probably a good one) something catastrophic happens and you have to suck it the fuck up and survive.

I've heard from a few, that their female counterparts do not take part in their survival ideals. I.E. food storage, medical supply storage, stocking guns/ammo, communication. I personally have encouraged all of these by being there to support my better half, as well as financially. Do I enjoy spending my money on medical supplies or radios for the car? not particularly. I'm a gamer....enough said. But I also see the need for these things and feel like it would be best to be prepared. I do not want to have to rely on the kindness of others to survive because they will be trying to survive themselves. By the by, screaming your head off, crying, falling down (multiple times), whining, and generally being an asshole will help no one. Especially you. Because they will leave your ass behind or eat you. (om nom nom)

Here's a good example of what not to do: The Road. (SPOILER ALERT: it sucked balls) I absolutely hated this movie. It was like a guide on how to be a fucking idiot. I watched this a couple years ago with my man, him thinking it would be a good learning experience, me just getting pissed off. The woman; a wife, and mother to a young child, goes absolutely banana balls, gives up on life, her husband, and her child, and completely dips out saying "peace bitches, I'm outie" and waltzes off into the cold wearing just about nothing. Like are you kidding me?! What feeble minded mewling quim (thank you Avengers) just up and leaves because they don't feel like making any decisions anymore aside from being a little bitch. (the rest of the movie was just as terrible, but this being the beginning, kinda set the tone) What do we learn from this? Be more like the chick from Vikings.

It's time to take charge of yourself, calm yo tits, and support your supporter. Now in mine and Mr. Tacticals relationship, things are more or less even. When it comes to the more tactical things, I rely on him to lead me because he is the authority on such matters in this household. When it comes to the medical chest, (even though that shit makes me woozy) that is my domain. I organize that shit like a beeotch. But that just means that when something happens, I know where things are, everything is labeled and everything is in its own container. We both do the guns because....well because they're awesome. When the time comes and something does happen, we will be (some assemblance) of prepared. Is it going to be fun? Hell no. Am I looking forward to it?

But to me, the fact that I will be alive and that my family will be protected, means more to me than.....than....indoor plumbing. hot showers? ah shit I'd miss that. But it's still more worth it to me. You need to start taking responsibility for yourself. When things go to hell, you will have no one to blame for your short comings but yourself and anyone that you allow into your life that discourages being prepared. Anyone that you allow into your inner circle that has any kind of pull on your thoughts or actions should be of like mind, or they should stay just a friend or acquaintance.

We need to be supporters in every capacity (like a bra...lol boobs). Supporters of our families, of our children, of our men (or women if you're into that kind of thing) and mainly, a supporter of ourselves. So seriously now, stop pushing things to the back of your mind because they are unpleasant. Stop putting off things that should be prepared now while you still have the ability to do so. So really,

Vix out!

Dutch Oven Your Special Someone

No, I don't mean release the fumes of hell demons and hold your unsuspecting lover under the covers until they know your scent and can never leave (don't they do that with horses?)....or you know...suffocate. I personally wouldn't want to breathe fart dust, but that's just me. Anyways, I'm talking about Dutch Oven cooking....over a fire. I've only had experience with this for about three years as Mr. Tactical is the only person I know with a Dutch Oven. Luckily, I love to cook....and camp and shoot (was overall a great weekend)

My first experience with the D.O. (got tired of typing out Dutch Oven....and again) was our first weekend camping ever (collective AWWWWWW) I got to play (ok maybe not play, "experience") with different guns as well as show off some of my wonderful cooking skills to show I was worth keeping around and had some general usefulness. (aside from being a pretty good shot...not bragging, just sayin') Now my cooking method is, look at some recipes, take the best ideas from each and then just make something absolutely mind-blowingly, food baby inducing nomage. If you come to one of his classes during September-November, you most likely will be able to sup on this as well.

Exhibit 1: Whitney's' Wilderness Stew

Normal ingredients being MEAT (nom nom nom) fresh chopped veggies, broth of some kind, and a smattering of spices. Turned out great. (obviously, I'm still here three years later) You basically get a good bed of coals going and hang the D.O. over the fire and get it nice and hot. I sauté some chopped garlic with onions and butter, add a little flour to make a roux, and then basically pour everything else in gradually. I love the D.O. because it allows it to get a nice woodsy smokey flavor without using the store bought crap. During that trip, we fired up the woodstove to keep it warm for the next day. The last time I made it, it stayed overnight in the D.O. over the fire and we had it for breakfast....it's that good. (Happy oh so steamy boyfriend)

Exhibit 2: MDT Chicken (no picture, sorry, we ate it)


Simple yet delicious. We took chicken quarters, placed them in the hot D.O. with soy sauce, worcestershire sauce, teriyaki, chopped garlic, (we even added orange slices) and let it simmer for about 45 minutes. We loved it, kids loved it, we even adapted it for non D.O. cooking and added Montreal steak seasoning. (I love that stuff, I even put it on my turkey)


You can do so many things with Dutch Oven (damn it) cooking. Seriously, Youtube that shit. You can make dessert (cobbler, brownies, cookies), rolls, all kinds of things. I mean seriously, food makes you happy, fuck shit up, go crazy, make new things. Find ways to make food you dislike, edible. Catch a squirrel. grill that bitch. (it's actually pretty good for a woodland creature)  I mean look at this happy (very blonde...wtf Whitney) smiling face!

In conclusion, cook something. Your stomach and your man will thank you for it. (or whatever you decide to date....everyone likes food)


Vix Out!

Snowmageddon 2015 and You! tips and tricks

So while sitting here in our home, snuggly and warm....well kinda warm, with Mr. Tactical, as it is snowing its balls off (haha snowballs) I realize that I'm pretty grateful for the things that I have. A house (full of blankets), warm clothes, and a warm boyfriend to stick my cold extremities on. It's times like this where I'm bundled up and working from home that I wonder, lets just say, what would have or could have happened if I did have to go to work today. I have friends that don't have anything in their car in case of emergency. I know that not most people can fit in their car is not the same as what I can put in mine, but you have to do something. I got stuck at work last week with a dead battery and no jumper cables and I felt helpless, so what would happen if say you got stuck out in the elements for even the shortest amount of time? It is cold as a witches tit outside (is that still a thing? witches tit?)

So for starters, what would you say would be good things to have in your car in case of an emergency? well for starters, what can keep you warm in an emergency? I've got plans. Plans on plans. Always have a spare change of clothes, something that will be durable and if you wind up getting wet for some reason, you have something dry to change into. I have a blanket as well as a sleeping bag in my car just in case I get stranded for any amount of time in the below freezing temperatures. I also have a pair of Matterhorn insulated boots....ebay...$45, it isn't that difficult to plan for emergencies Having some form of nibbles or snackums handy wouldn't be such a bad idea either, i mean really, all of that chihuahua shivering really burns some calories.

Another good idea would be to have some kind of first aid preps in place just in case there are cuts and scrapes along the way as well as if you run into others that may have had some mishaps. You know me, I've done other posts concerning medical supplies and how I am about hoarding useful things (*cough* boyfriend *cough*). 

Two words: FLARE GUN (you know, if that kind of thing is legal in your state) It doesn't take up much space and can be put underneath a seat or something. It could mean the difference between being stuck in a snow drift and no way for anyone to find you (turning into a human popsicle...mmmm delicious) and being found by another driver.

Also, (unfortunately) if you have kids that are driving (ok she isn't mine, but.....she's mine) it would be good to have them prepped to the point where their friends look in the trunk and go "O EM GEE I can't even!" (yeah....that serious) Get them one of those window breaky/seat belt cutty things, fill every nook and cranny with useful things and make sure they know how and when to use them. Keep yo kids safe. I've got a hand crank cell phone charger in my vehicle in case my car and my phone die. You know how kids are with cell phones...

Basically all you need to do is just think "hmmm if I was stuck in the cold, what could i not live without for at least a couple of hours" and then stuff as much of that shit in your car as you possibly can without seeming like one of those weird car hoarders where it't nothing but empty food containers and clothes.

Oh! and my cat caught a mouse today! 

So I'm going to sit here all snuggled up with my guy and my pup, under my fuzzums blanket, full of pizza, and watch a movie. Be safe, stay warm, and keep prepping!

Vix Out

Motivational and Shit

So it's come to my attention that there has been a bunch of hate going on lately in our small community and it has pretty much touched everyone (like that creepy dude no one wants to be around at parties). So seriously. Get Your Shit. Karma will sort it out so really, it's ok. So much hate has been flying around and much of it is a bunch of bull. So really. Control people....

Go eat a cheese burger. Have awesome sex. Watch a movie. Take a nap. I mean seriously calm yo tits. I wish i had the cheeseburger but i fully intend on doing the other things at some point today.

 The only thing that you can do in the current situation, is be yourself, trust in god (if you so choose, not trying to go all religious debate here) and chill the eff out. You don't have to answer to anyone at the end of the day but yourself. So if you're fucking up, fix it. If you're fucking someone over, fix it. If you need to be fucked, fix it (in a non-rapey way). It is up to you to decide what is and is not ok in your life, and fix it. Or to accept the shit that happens, and just live your life and move on. If your sole purpose is to try and sabotage someone....seriously....check yourself. See what is wrong in your life and make a change...possibly into an awesome whale.

I'm not saying I'm not guilty of this. I just realized that it isn't important to let others screw with you without your consent. Trying to fuck with someones life is a personal issue and maybe you should consider getting your head checked....or see a therapist...or that super cool whale. I have so many issues. I have problems, I have a job, I have a life, I have a boyfriend, and I make so many mistakes. But that is life. The point is to recognize the bad and bomb the shit out of that m'fer.

Ok so enough ranting. Just some shit to consider. Also a cute pibble confused about strawberries....

Vix OUT

Homeopathic Merriment and Scottish Smut

Over the past weekend, I took a trip with my mom and sister in law to Iowa. Why Iowa? (yeah, wtf is in Iowa) well, my moms favorite author was in town for a convention aptly named "Thru The Stones" for the Outlander series, ie: Scottish smut book. (They're amazing btw....and the idea was based off of early Doctor Who episodes...and we met the author and Graham McTavish...the beard....) All in all, (aside from no schmexy boyfriend) it was an amazing weekend, and my moms best birthday to date.

Being as I work in the convention and housing field, it was a bit weird going to a convention. They offered classes geared towards the time period where the books take place (which is 18th century Scotland). I wound up taking the 18th century medical class, Scottish dance, BEEEEEES, and Edible Landscape (geared towards Iowa.....that really helps me here on the east coast....)

Kind of interesting and probably important information to know, the medicine class was geared towards what plants have what purposes and the bee class was all about beekeeping (and for some reason how to make pie crust....) But anyways, there was quite a bit of useful information that I figured i would share since mostly all you have to do is plant some shit or build a bee box and BAM partial self sufficiency. Edible Landscape was kind of a bust aside from "plant some trees!" so i left early...that and my sister in law was making faces and dancing through the door window...

So for starters: FUN PLANTS! plants that have other properties that will be very useful if you are unable to get modern medicines.

So first off, there are the ways that these can be used: Tincture, Compress, Poultice, and Ointments/Salves.

Tincture: Macerate in alcohol/water for 7-14 days and then strain and compress. It can be used topically or internally (in moderation).
Compress: Use clean linen (cheese cloth or muslin) soak in the Tincture.
Poultice: Crushed/Ground herbs adding water, whiskey, or fat to moisten if the herbs are dried. Apply to skin, make sure it is hot/warm temperature. Used for burns/open wounds. you layer cloth/herbs to prevent sticking, and often covered with wool flannel to preserve heat.
Ointment/Salves: Base of lard/butter/suet/lanolin/goose or duck grease. Addition of powdered herbs or strong tee, add bees wax to add firmness (yeah...bees ;) I plan on making my own ointment later once i collect all the ingredients, and I'll do a post on that at a later date)

Speedweed: (no. not quick pot delivery) Can be made into a tea. Good for cough, ulcers (internal, external), gout, skin diseases (eczema/psoriasis), good diaphoretic, alterative, expectorant, also effective for conditions of the chest and kidneys.

Comfrey: Use the root, or main leaf rib: (SMASH IT WITH A HAMMER) can be used after smashage, and placed on effected area, or used with a poultice in a paste form.
Use externally for bruises, sprains, dislocations, wounds, burns, ulcers, and skin disorders.
Internal uses include ulcers, stomach/intestine irritation, urinary tract, helps promote callus formation in fractures, reduces inflammation in tendon sheath, arthritis, hematoma, and swollen glands.

Yarrow: Use flowers and leaves: can be made into a Tincture (10-30 drops 1-4x/day) Use as tea (1 tsp/cup of water 1-4x/day), Poultice, or used topically.
It is an anti-inflammatory and astringent, strengthens the urinary tract system, veins, mucus membranes, anti-fungal, styptic, diaphoretic, and anodyne. Used as a tea (which is safer than the tincture): Taken hot, it induces sweating, taken cold it can be a diuretic. It can help with the first stage of colds/fevers, bleeding, hemorrhoids, and Shark week problems.

Calendula: Use flowers prior to opening. Use as a tea (2-3 heaping Tbsp per cup of water) Use as tincture (1:5 ratio of plant to 20% Alchohol base...dont use too much) Use as a cytophylactic, antiseptic, anti-inflammatory, lymphagogue, antiviral/bacterial, choleretic, and demulcent. (I knew what these meant in the class, feel free to do your own research BIG wordsss :) Can be used on wounds, burns, bruises, boils, and rashes. Caution for preggers ladies thoug, has abortifacient effects. So a no go for the baby trains.

Plantain: (om nom nom) Use the leaves. Tincture: (1:1 ratio 15-40 drops 1-4x/day) Poultice fresh leaves. Use as an antiseptic, anti-bacterial, astringent, diuretic, and anti-inflammatory. Can be used to draw out splinters, help with UTI and respiratory infection. It is also good to add to cough syrup and is anti-inflammatory to mucus membranes.

Garlic: (Om nom nom) Use the cloves. Can be used as an anti-microbial/bacterial/fungal/parasitic. Mild anti-coagulant, diuretic, naturetic, anti-spasmodic, hypoglycemic, anti-thrombotic, it protects the liver, inhibits tumor growth, supports immune function, decreases plaque buildup in the arteries, good for infectious diseases, clears up dysentery (if only i had had this while playing the Oregon trail) reduces peripheral vascular disease, diabetes, and liver disease. Garlic is pretty much the shiz.

I have more, but my hand is starting to cramp (bad flashbacks of college writing) so to that I say To Be Continued...

(The woman that did this class's name is Pamela Taylor ND and she has a book so yeah. consider it)

For the bees, there was a lot of instruction on bee keeping, ordering bees, how to drain the honey from the comb, and how to clean the wax to use for candles, ointments etc. (it takes 7lbs of honey to make 1lb of wax....lots of hard work) It also takes 90lbs of honey to get a box of bees through the winter, they also included a list of annuals, perennials, vegetables, trees, and shrubs that attract honeybees. speaking of honey, did I mention i sell honey? I know I have, and Oh Em Gee, look. Buckwheat honey! It's sooooo dark and rich and full of vitamins and antioxidants! DELICIOUS and in fun tactical packs! (glamour shot glamour shot)

Ok I'm done :) I will do a more in depth instruction on bees for my next post because it really is pretty interesting. I know i took too many notes. I'll post the honey/cooking recipes too. BTW did you know that honey on buttered biscuits is DELICIOUS? I found that out. I don't even like honey but this was like crack (not that i know what crack is like, but i've heard it has quite addictive qualities) I've been dreaming about it all week (biscuits, not crack).

Vix out

Ermahgerd Appersauce (Canning and YOU)

So every fall season for the past three years (yes. three glorious years with Mr. Tactical, where did the tacti-time go...) I've been canning homemade applesauce. Typically I make around 3-4 batches and then can them for later use. (or holiday gifts, my dad loves this stuff....) Last year i was able to make around 18 pint ball jars for storage. It's really not that difficult honestly (just a bit time consuming), and it will help you stock up and prepare for the tough months ahead. Canning is a good way to supplement your food supply that has quite a long shelf life. We have canned spaghetti sauce we received from a family member. Canned jam, fruit, veggies. Get a dehydrator. Educate yourself. You have the ability to grow, and save your own personal stock of noms. We have apple and peach trees where we live. It's a good idea to get something that basically provides for you every year so you can continue to prepare. I mean, look at this:

Delicious apple nom noms. Honestly, i don't like applesauce, but I like mine. Find something that you can make that will keep, and that you like, or can fix up so you like it. You can doctor many things. YOU CAN NEVER HAVE TOO MUCH FOOD STOCKED UP.

Being as the winter months are coming up, you need to consider the possibility that if you live in an area that gets bad weather, you may be stuck in your home without a way to go get provisions. Do you have a way to keep warm? Do you have food put away? We have about 5 loaves of bread in our freezer. I never thought i would be one of those crazy people who freezes bread. Powdered milk. Rice. Possibly something to spice up the rice since rice sucks.....same thing with the beans....hate beans. But beans and rice make a whole protein so there you go (still hate beans). Hunt. It's hunting season. Get deer. Rabbit. Squirrel (actually quite tasty). Get a bear. Have a bear skin rug. Put it in front of the fire and keep warm (you know. all romantic and shit. How awesome would that be. I killed you this bear...). You don't want to be stuck having to break into a Dorito truck like those people in Buffalo that got snowed in (how romantic. I brought you Doritos. not anywhere near as cool as "hey i brought you a bear" but i guess it works). Especially if you don't have access to a Dorito truck as it would make such an endeavor quite difficult. Prepare yourselves....Winter is coming....

Where are the Streamers? What, no Streamers?

So today I did something that many Americans have also done. I VOTED! (loud screams and applause). Now this was my first mid-term election EVER. I voted for the presidential race in 2008, but due to other circumstances, have not had the ability to vote since.

Now agree with voting or not, the reason this post comes up is because of all those that I ran into today that didn't vote. Not that they are objecting to the system, not because they didn't have time after work (I walked in at 7 after work, not an excuse unless you're working all day or have some other full day obligation....or if you aren't a resident...or a bear...anyways). My dilemma is that people my age are not voting. Not out of protest but because they really don't care. They didn't vote because they didn't know who they would be voting for. They didn't research. They didn't take the time to see who, whether they decide to vote or not, will be representing them in their state.

Now, this is a bit depressing to me. I've heard so many people that decide to object to voting because they feel that their voice will not be heard anyways. Fine, you don't wanna, don't do it. That is your right as an American. But to not even care who is running? kinda silly. It will effect you whether you object to it or not. So why not try and understand what is going to be happening to you over the next couple of years.

I'm 26. This is the second time I've voted in MY LIFE. I'm perfectly ok with this. Whether delusional or not, I feel like I'm contributing at least the tiniest little bit.(don't crush my dreams!) The place I went? they used paper ballads because they don't trust the machines. It's run by people who want to be there. It was a very positive feel after going through a typical customer service day where on a good day I've lost at least 5% of my faith in humanity. Consider that 5% restored after tonight. Looking like an idiot, wondering what to do, where to stick the ballot....worth it. Social anxiety problems totally worth it.

I know there are going to be many that disagree. I'm not saying you're an idiot for not voting. I'm saying that if you don't take the time to educate yourself about your future, that's irresponsible....and from a very new adult. Now I'm going to get into my footy pajamas and watch Disney movies....

Vix out.

Natures Little Wonder: Bee Vom

So lately I have been looking into different types of natural remedies mainly in part to some of the great suggestions I've gotten from my ever so clever readers. Clove oil for this, lemon oil for that, etc etc. One of the main things that I've been looking into stockpiling is HONEY.

Give that Bitch some Honey, Bitches LOVE Honey

See this 5lb monster? Yeah. local sweet gold. 18 bucks. You know what it can be used for? LOTS. Bee vomit can be used as an antibiotic, sweetener. OH THE POSSIBILITIES! We picked this guy up at one of those roadside stands on my yearly hunt for apples for my homemade applesauce. Seems like a bit of an expense, but if you think about it, pure, unprocessed (with all that junk in it like they have at the grocery store, sorry little honey bear...) never goes bad and it can be used for so many things. 

Honey can be used for wound care. It has antibacterial and anti-inflammatory properties and has also been shown to hamper E. coli, salmonella, as well as fight staph. (you go little bee) I've also read that a tablespoon mixed with cinnamon can actually help with bladder infections as well. It can also be used to reduce inflammation in pimples. So there ya go. Keeping you pretty during the apocalypse brought to you by MDV ;) 

Do not give to babies though, until they are over a year old. Also, although not actually proven, if you get really bad allergies, you can start taking doses of local honey to build up an immunity to them. Some people don't really believe this, but hey, it actually worked for my brother so it really couldn't hurt. Now could it. (suck it up buttercup) I personally dislike the taste of honey, but it's uses outweigh the momentary "ew ew ew get it out of my mouth" feeling. For example: Buckwheat Honey:

The best way for me to describe Buckwheat Honey, is that it smells like a wet dog (tastes a little less like a wet dog, but really, it isn't so bad). I was at work with a terribly sore throat, and a coworker that actually raises bees handed me this. A spoonful of this every so often through the day, coats the throat (with it's antibacterial properties) and also works as a cough suppressant (or if that doesn't work, you could always just shove the jar in their mouth). I hated the taste, but it really helped. (and as with this jar, it starts to crystallize, but all you need to do is warm it up and it goes liquid again). It's like those nasty lemon honey cough drops, but you don't have to suck on it for like an hour (torture).

For me and Mr. Tactical, we actually got these to put into our bug-out bags:

Also purchased from the man with the bees, it's in an easy to use pouch (if crystallized, just stick in warm water. So it's simple in that aspect as well) with resealable spout. Good source of sugar if needed, and its antibacterial uses in the great outdoors. (Just hopefully it isn't bear season..... or ant season....) I was able to get six of these, two for our packs, and the remaining four for the pantry. (I can actually start stocking and supplying this if anyone is interested....if not....more for me anyways. And look at that sweet tactical packaging label).

Anyways, with the recent start of the preparation of our medical footlocker, This is also getting added into that box. Honey has many great uses and will never go bad, so you don't have to worry about using it within a certain amount of time, and really, can you afford not to have something like this? Prepare yourself. Use the time that you have to insure that you and your family will be comfortable and safe. Find natural options that can be gotten if commercial medication is not available. 

In short, bee bulimia is a benefit to you that you should really look into. Honey and it's many uses would definitely help in a SHTF situation and could also be used as a barter good (just like mini booze, but more useful....) And for serious. Look at this happy dude. You wish you could be as obliviously happy as this bear (silly bear).

Vix Out

Shark Week

Soooo keeping up with the topic of preparedness, I give you Shark Week. All the things that women don't really want to talk about, men don't want to think about, and will become a lot more embarrassing if you can't get the supplies that you need.

Exhibit A:

Congratulations. You made it. Feel free to giggle.

Lady sticks will obviously be a bit harder to come by during difficult times and Walgreen's (at the corner of happy and healthy) will most likely be ransacked or filled with drug addicted cannibals. So what's a girl to do during shark week? PREPARE. common theme here me thinks. There are some other alternatives to lady sticks and *quiver* ick ick ick "sanitary" nakkins. Some of which may be worse than the latter, but hey. You're going to be limited on what you will have access to.

Exhibit B: Reusable filth nakkins. Because that is what I really want to do. Sit all day thinking "oh god oh god oh god nononononononono". I guess that people in the olden days had to use these because really, it's all you had. But look! they come in all these fun colors, designs and prints! YES because i really want it to look like I've just started the great owl massacre of 2014. Plus side, it is reusable. Downside: yuck yuck yuck, and unless you have multiples, you're still screwed.

Exhibit C: The "Diva Cup" which I think would be the better option. There are other options beside this particular brand but doesn't it just sound so fancy! because when you want to stop leaks in the lady cave, I think "man I'm such a fancy diva ;)" Plus side, it is reusable, more sanitary, cleanable, and doesn't wear out. Downside, um well. you can't be skittish? you need small hands? Either way. It's a bit more discrete, unless you are a true diva, in which case the world really doesn't want to know about the goings on of your lady bits.


Exhibit D: Spon....wait. A fucking sponge? What is this? The Little Mermaid? well i guess being as this is shark week, although i would be tempted to hum under da sea 24/7. Plus side, All in all, reusable. Downside,  not as long lasting as the other previous alternative and it can only be so sanitary.... And lets face it. It's a sponge. All i would be able to think about is this.....

Or possibly Spongebob Square pants...but really "Ohhhhhhhhhhhh who lives in a lady cactus..." doesn't have the same ring to it....

There are a couple other alternatives as well, I've see stuff like this (hehehe happytooter) on this homemade website Etsy. They sell some pretty awesome homemade stuff. (other stuff. like non lady bits stuff) but really. If I want to learn how to crochet, this isn't going to be why....

Anyways. I'm pretty sure I've made most of you cringe, maybe cry a little, but really, you can only stock up on the disposables before you run out. Then what are you going to do? I mean there's always...you know...babies. But really not the most practical way...Anyways, learn the ways to stock up for your hot pocket so no one else has to hear about it.

Vix out

It's Just A Flesh Wound

Most average people keep general first aid thingies in their house for the random papercut, kitchen accident, animal bite, macrame crafting accident etc... but only on the off chance that one of these things happens. Many don't think to keep more first aid supplies on hand than what it would take to use in about a month if it was really needed because, lets face it, you can really only lose so many limbs before you eventually have to seek medical help, and you can only do so much for your family if you're nubbin' it.

For the past couple of weeks this topic has been on my mind, and what would happen in a SHTF type situation. (not that I'm one of those crazy survivalist types *cough cough*) Say something happened and all you had to rely on was a blow out kit for a wound. "oh I'll just rig this....nasal pharyngeal tube to....damn it".

So for the past couple of weeks, I have been heading to my weekly trips to the store and coming home with a few first aid things every time i go. Band-aids, Gauze, Antibiotic Ointment; the things most every household has a small supply of in times of need. But I plan on going further. Full on "I'm not going to show up for work, and when they come looking, my house looks like an episode of hoarders and I've been trapped under a box full of sanitary wipes and have been surviving off of cotton balls for days" extreme.

Anyways, there's really no excuse to not be prepared when a roll of gauze costs about $1.50, and a two pack of antibiotic ointment is about $3. It's the same idea of picking up spare cans of food each time you go to the store. If you can eat, but have an infection because a squirrel attacked you when you're hunting and didn't have anything to disinfect with, there is really no point. So for the past couple of trips, this is what I've come up with, along with a few other things that just needed to be included.

So basically (from left to right), i have gauze pads and two sizes of Gauze, a flashlight (because if you can't see in the dark, you might sew something to the wrong place), different sized band-aids and butterfly closures, multiple warmer pads, wrist and athletic wrap, a finger splint, alcohol, peroxide, medical gloves, epsom salt, antibacterial hand stuff, ointment, and a non-electric thermometer. Most of this stuff you can find at your local drugstore and for not that much. As long as you have somewhere cool and dry to store this kind of thing, i would do it. If you can't take care of your families medical needs, you really need to think about your priorities. On a side note, if you do have a multi lense flashlight, it is best to use blue. This is because blood shows up black in the light, instead of red, because red doesn't show blood. The reason I bring this up is if you are in a survival/concealment scenario when you can not use a regular white light. (unless you're color blind....then please disregard this message).

Other supplies, you can get from your local outdoor store (Gander Mountain, Cabela's, Dick's *tehehe*) Mr. Tactical picked up these supplies (minus the little powder bottle...that's for the dog. They need first aid too.....later post. Got it) at Gander Mountain. The snake bit kit, I picked up off of amazon, along with some medical face masks that I just ordered today. It isn't hard, it just takes some planning.

All of this is going to be organized in these awesome boxes i picked up for a dollar each at a flea market, and placed in the a foot locker. See? Priorities. Get Your Shit Together. I'm 26 and for all intents and purposes, I should be more worried about painting my nails, shoes, and selfies (or whatever normal girls my age worry about), and I still manage to worry about this. What's your excuse? (omg these boxes are totes the shiz).

Mr. Tactical and I both have our strong points and tackle different aspects of preparedness in our household. He handles the tactical and protection aspect, and I handle the medical and food storage aspect. This makes it easier and less stressful because everyone basically has their own duties to focus on, and you'll actually want to survive WITH eachother. Have a plan. Be prepared. Don't end up eating people because you didn't take the proper precautions....that shit gives you the shakes.....

Vix Out.