Wednesday, October 21, 2015

PSA, for Serious Though. Where's the Love.

It's been a while good people of the blogosphere. Life tends to do that. But, I had a bit of a slap in the face from life today. The reason for this new update is due to a text message that i sent today. I'm going to be a part of a very close friends wedding in the next few months, so I have to root around like a truffle pig (snuffle snuffle) to get everything I need, as well as find a hotel. Completely random, I texted my schmexy tactical with two hotel names. He automatically shot back a choice and that was that. That's when it hit me. Guys can be complete dicks (chicks too, everyone can be fucked over, kinda the point of some relationships).

Kind of a strange segway, I know. Bit of back story is needed in this situation i guess....I used to date a complete deuche. Like if I had texted this to the previous love interest, it would have been an automatic "who did you mean to send this to?" "who are you getting a hotel room with?" No trust whatsoever. No life outside of him. Like threatened to punch me in the throat for swatting his hand away because I was sick and not in the mood, deuche. Like drag me into the yard and slit my throat if he ever found out i cheated on him serious (his actual words). Like used to get in my face and scream at me awful. It was all around an awful situation and i was a bit broken for a long while after (which believe me, the shy, mistrusting, awkward nerd....totally hot right?).  Now, I'm not completely blameless but who ever really is? I should have left before it got to the point of resenting each other. But that's my mistake. You live and learn. I learned that I can be pretty awesome when placed with the best partner on the planet (BAM tactical awesomeness!)

POINT BEING! If you are going to be with someone, be with someone that gets you. Someone that supports you and doesn't abuse you mentally OR physically. How do you expect to handle a survival situation with someone that makes you step on eggshells? The whole point is you need a partner. Someone that you can work together with. Lets face it, how do you expect to get through life during the collapse if you are scared of or hate the person that you are with?

I understand that it's really difficult when you are in these types of situations...but really. Get out. I was stuck in my own personal hell for near on 5 years. I was afraid to leave. He made me believe that I was too high maintenance, that i was too hard to love, that no one else would ever love me. It's been hard to come to terms with this shit believe me. I came close to leaving so may times, just to be dragged back in because he would cry and tell me everything that i wanted to hear, and I was brainless and actually believed him. This is about self love. Not in the masturbatory sense...(I mean if you're into that thing, have at it) Care about yourself enough to do what is best with you. Create your own little sanctuary. (surrounded by all your lovely canned food, you know. color coordinated, organized by date)

Be with someone that makes you want to do better, to be better. If you can't find that person, or you cant be that person, you would be better off alone. You don't need that kind of negativity in your life (shit, I should be a motivational speaker...)

Fast forward to the now, I'm in a stable healthy relationship. Nothing is perfect, but I mean, how are you not in a great relationship if you shop for canned food together, collect medical supplies, go to the range, (which also helps with the whole releasing anger thing...I can think of a few faces that I picture on that target), both equally adore meat snacks (om nom nom carnivore love). I will admit, i never get used to it. Waking up to treats in my car, the hugs, the trust. But I do know that I have a great partner that will never let me down. You need that assurance that you will be able to rely on the person you are with, otherwise, what's the point? You wont survive anyway...

If you need help, get help. There is always someone willing to help, you just have to be strong enough to reach out and ask. Sorry for the serious Public Service Announcement. I swear, next time will be more cheeky and fun :) But hey, I got in a few right? 

Vix out