Monday, April 6, 2015

I'm Reloading, Hold My Purse (Lady Balls: Part Deux)

Per a very special request, here it is...THIS IS A CALL TO ALL WOMEN, GIRLS, AND SOME VERY VERY GIRLY BOYS! LEND ME YOUR....i was going to say vagina, but that isn't really what I how about your eyes? Eyes it is. So you ever watch a horror film with the fam or the sexy time friend and the main leading lady thing winds up running around screaming her head off instead of thinking through the problem? (and might consider that maybe continuously running upstairs is a bad idea). Well this post is in regards to survival and women. (hint: always run when the theme music starts playing)

So for starters, you ever really notice that majority of the time in any kind of outdoor/survival situation, those of the female persuasion tend to not be so into it (unless they are awesome of course)? I completely understand. Hanging out in the cold or heat is exhausting, not showering for days on end, also not fun. I really hate freeze dried food...and bugs....and sleeping on the ground, but all in all, I never get as good of a sleep as I do when I camp. But this isn't in regards to general camping, this is if by some chance (probably a good one) something catastrophic happens and you have to suck it the fuck up and survive.

I've heard from a few, that their female counterparts do not take part in their survival ideals. I.E. food storage, medical supply storage, stocking guns/ammo, communication. I personally have encouraged all of these by being there to support my better half, as well as financially. Do I enjoy spending my money on medical supplies or radios for the car? not particularly. I'm a gamer....enough said. But I also see the need for these things and feel like it would be best to be prepared. I do not want to have to rely on the kindness of others to survive because they will be trying to survive themselves. By the by, screaming your head off, crying, falling down (multiple times), whining, and generally being an asshole will help no one. Especially you. Because they will leave your ass behind or eat you. (om nom nom)

Here's a good example of what not to do: The Road. (SPOILER ALERT: it sucked balls) I absolutely hated this movie. It was like a guide on how to be a fucking idiot. I watched this a couple years ago with my man, him thinking it would be a good learning experience, me just getting pissed off. The woman; a wife, and mother to a young child, goes absolutely banana balls, gives up on life, her husband, and her child, and completely dips out saying "peace bitches, I'm outie" and waltzes off into the cold wearing just about nothing. Like are you kidding me?! What feeble minded mewling quim (thank you Avengers) just up and leaves because they don't feel like making any decisions anymore aside from being a little bitch. (the rest of the movie was just as terrible, but this being the beginning, kinda set the tone) What do we learn from this? Be more like the chick from Vikings.

It's time to take charge of yourself, calm yo tits, and support your supporter. Now in mine and Mr. Tacticals relationship, things are more or less even. When it comes to the more tactical things, I rely on him to lead me because he is the authority on such matters in this household. When it comes to the medical chest, (even though that shit makes me woozy) that is my domain. I organize that shit like a beeotch. But that just means that when something happens, I know where things are, everything is labeled and everything is in its own container. We both do the guns because....well because they're awesome. When the time comes and something does happen, we will be (some assemblance) of prepared. Is it going to be fun? Hell no. Am I looking forward to it?

But to me, the fact that I will be alive and that my family will be protected, means more to me than.....than....indoor plumbing. hot showers? ah shit I'd miss that. But it's still more worth it to me. You need to start taking responsibility for yourself. When things go to hell, you will have no one to blame for your short comings but yourself and anyone that you allow into your life that discourages being prepared. Anyone that you allow into your inner circle that has any kind of pull on your thoughts or actions should be of like mind, or they should stay just a friend or acquaintance.

We need to be supporters in every capacity (like a boobs). Supporters of our families, of our children, of our men (or women if you're into that kind of thing) and mainly, a supporter of ourselves. So seriously now, stop pushing things to the back of your mind because they are unpleasant. Stop putting off things that should be prepared now while you still have the ability to do so. So really,

Vix out!

Saturday, April 4, 2015

Dutch Oven Your Special Someone

No, I don't mean release the fumes of hell demons and hold your unsuspecting lover under the covers until they know your scent and can never leave (don't they do that with horses?)....or you know...suffocate. I personally wouldn't want to breathe fart dust, but that's just me. Anyways, I'm talking about Dutch Oven cooking....over a fire. I've only had experience with this for about three years as Mr. Tactical is the only person I know with a Dutch Oven. Luckily, I love to cook....and camp and shoot (was overall a great weekend)

My first experience with the D.O. (got tired of typing out Dutch Oven....and again) was our first weekend camping ever (collective AWWWWWW) I got to play (ok maybe not play, "experience") with different guns as well as show off some of my wonderful cooking skills to show I was worth keeping around and had some general usefulness. (aside from being a pretty good shot...not bragging, just sayin') Now my cooking method is, look at some recipes, take the best ideas from each and then just make something absolutely mind-blowingly, food baby inducing nomage. If you come to one of his classes during September-November, you most likely will be able to sup on this as well.

Exhibit 1: Whitney's' Wilderness Stew

Normal ingredients being MEAT (nom nom nom) fresh chopped veggies, broth of some kind, and a smattering of spices. Turned out great. (obviously, I'm still here three years later) You basically get a good bed of coals going and hang the D.O. over the fire and get it nice and hot. I sauté some chopped garlic with onions and butter, add a little flour to make a roux, and then basically pour everything else in gradually. I love the D.O. because it allows it to get a nice woodsy smokey flavor without using the store bought crap. During that trip, we fired up the woodstove to keep it warm for the next day. The last time I made it, it stayed overnight in the D.O. over the fire and we had it for's that good. (Happy oh so steamy boyfriend)

Exhibit 2: MDT Chicken (no picture, sorry, we ate it)

Simple yet delicious. We took chicken quarters, placed them in the hot D.O. with soy sauce, worcestershire sauce, teriyaki, chopped garlic, (we even added orange slices) and let it simmer for about 45 minutes. We loved it, kids loved it, we even adapted it for non D.O. cooking and added Montreal steak seasoning. (I love that stuff, I even put it on my turkey)

You can do so many things with Dutch Oven (damn it) cooking. Seriously, Youtube that shit. You can make dessert (cobbler, brownies, cookies), rolls, all kinds of things. I mean seriously, food makes you happy, fuck shit up, go crazy, make new things. Find ways to make food you dislike, edible. Catch a squirrel. grill that bitch. (it's actually pretty good for a woodland creature)  I mean look at this happy (very Whitney) smiling face!

In conclusion, cook something. Your stomach and your man will thank you for it. (or whatever you decide to date....everyone likes food)

Vix Out!