Wednesday, October 21, 2015

PSA, for Serious Though. Where's the Love.

It's been a while good people of the blogosphere. Life tends to do that. But, I had a bit of a slap in the face from life today. The reason for this new update is due to a text message that i sent today. I'm going to be a part of a very close friends wedding in the next few months, so I have to root around like a truffle pig (snuffle snuffle) to get everything I need, as well as find a hotel. Completely random, I texted my schmexy tactical with two hotel names. He automatically shot back a choice and that was that. That's when it hit me. Guys can be complete dicks (chicks too, everyone can be fucked over, kinda the point of some relationships).

Kind of a strange segway, I know. Bit of back story is needed in this situation i guess....I used to date a complete deuche. Like if I had texted this to the previous love interest, it would have been an automatic "who did you mean to send this to?" "who are you getting a hotel room with?" No trust whatsoever. No life outside of him. Like threatened to punch me in the throat for swatting his hand away because I was sick and not in the mood, deuche. Like drag me into the yard and slit my throat if he ever found out i cheated on him serious (his actual words). Like used to get in my face and scream at me awful. It was all around an awful situation and i was a bit broken for a long while after (which believe me, the shy, mistrusting, awkward nerd....totally hot right?).  Now, I'm not completely blameless but who ever really is? I should have left before it got to the point of resenting each other. But that's my mistake. You live and learn. I learned that I can be pretty awesome when placed with the best partner on the planet (BAM tactical awesomeness!)

POINT BEING! If you are going to be with someone, be with someone that gets you. Someone that supports you and doesn't abuse you mentally OR physically. How do you expect to handle a survival situation with someone that makes you step on eggshells? The whole point is you need a partner. Someone that you can work together with. Lets face it, how do you expect to get through life during the collapse if you are scared of or hate the person that you are with?

I understand that it's really difficult when you are in these types of situations...but really. Get out. I was stuck in my own personal hell for near on 5 years. I was afraid to leave. He made me believe that I was too high maintenance, that i was too hard to love, that no one else would ever love me. It's been hard to come to terms with this shit believe me. I came close to leaving so may times, just to be dragged back in because he would cry and tell me everything that i wanted to hear, and I was brainless and actually believed him. This is about self love. Not in the masturbatory sense...(I mean if you're into that thing, have at it) Care about yourself enough to do what is best with you. Create your own little sanctuary. (surrounded by all your lovely canned food, you know. color coordinated, organized by date)

Be with someone that makes you want to do better, to be better. If you can't find that person, or you cant be that person, you would be better off alone. You don't need that kind of negativity in your life (shit, I should be a motivational speaker...)

Fast forward to the now, I'm in a stable healthy relationship. Nothing is perfect, but I mean, how are you not in a great relationship if you shop for canned food together, collect medical supplies, go to the range, (which also helps with the whole releasing anger thing...I can think of a few faces that I picture on that target), both equally adore meat snacks (om nom nom carnivore love). I will admit, i never get used to it. Waking up to treats in my car, the hugs, the trust. But I do know that I have a great partner that will never let me down. You need that assurance that you will be able to rely on the person you are with, otherwise, what's the point? You wont survive anyway...

If you need help, get help. There is always someone willing to help, you just have to be strong enough to reach out and ask. Sorry for the serious Public Service Announcement. I swear, next time will be more cheeky and fun :) But hey, I got in a few right? 

Vix out

Sunday, June 14, 2015

Wait...You Used This for What??

So I'm a bit of a videogame nerd and recently got through "The Last of Us" (amazingly epic game, great graphics and awesome story). But basically there is this disease that infects people and you start playing (really playing) 20 years after said outbreak. You find old tv's, laptops, toys; things that wont really have as much of a place in the new world if there is some kind of collapse. The world will basically be completely different for new generations. So really, there are going to be things that would not make any sense to anyone that didn't grow up in that time (guess it already works a little that way but meh, this coming generation are already zombies anyway).

I was at work the other day and I have this cup that I got at some Christmas event a couple of years ago, and it made me wonder about all the things that, in the case of complete economic shutdown, years later, wouldn't make any fucking sense.

"I hate mondays" : Kinda funny now, because....well Mondays suck (i guess only if you don't work weekends). But in the case of total shut down, everyday will pretty much thus the not making any sense.

The Kardashians: I mean, honestly. Have you ever seen a group of more useless people? (aside from the white house (new conspiracy: the Kardashians are running the white house...)) I'm sure the conversation would go like this: "sooo they were famous and got do nothing. They just did stuff and got paid for it? WTF I have to jump through hoops just to get my ration card..." Our society tries to glorify idiots who do nothing useful.

Most forms of currency: Unless it's edible, or has some form of use, currency won't really have much of a place in the world. I get a feeling that trade goods would become the new currency (or hell it could be bottlecaps like in fallout, or ration cards...).

Electronics: Honestly, that $1,000 Mac, or that expensive apple watch would just become glorified paper weights (and my gaming systems would never turn on again.....omg. I'd cry sad sad nerdy tears). Kinda one of those eye openers of spend money on trips/family, not things. Unless it's tactical things.....or guns....yes. Yet another reason why I have a nook, but still prefer to buy actual books. Other than just liking books...

Camping: Life will literally be like one big camping trip. People will not believe that you actually went out into the wilderness for "fun" and not for survival. You build a fire to stay warm and to cook food. "s'more, wtf is a s'more" (I mean real S'mores. not that BS yogurt/strawberry s'more they are trying to pass off now to be "healthy". S'mores aren't about healthy, they are about fucking american summer fire fun food. leave it alone) Soooo invest in sleeping bags....or supplies to make a hooch..

Non-hairy Women: I hate to say it because I love having legs as smooth as baby dolphins.....but most women will have to forego the razor due to lack of said razor, or due to trying to stay warmer. It's gonna suck. You're going to feel like you're snugglin a squatch....but hey. Furry love is better than no love at all...

Most forms of Communication: Not like you can hop in your land rover and go hit up your girl anytime you want. Cell Phones will be out (and the land rover). You'll most likely have to ruck over to see anyone, or try and set up a communication system like in The Postman....although not as cool because seriously...Kevin MFing Costner... (seriously though, good movie...)

Zoo's/Aquariums: Most of the animals that could escape, would escape, turning the world into a Safari. Sorry to say most of the Aquarium would be doomed though... (sorry Nemo)

This is all I could come up with currently, but I know that there are many many more. Feel free to comment with others that you can think of. Also, play The Last of'll thank me later....

Vix out...

Friday, June 12, 2015

*Public Service Announcement (Lady Balls Style)*

Well, it's come to my attention that my term has now been used on another well known blog that i have been aware of for quite some time (the blog that is); aware of it due to some unfortunate circumstances (I guess i should have trade marked the term huh?) SO if you see this, it's DEFINITELY not mine. Nor would I wish to be associated with this site at all (anymore. due to said unfortunate circumstances). Guess it's hard to come up with your own shit huh? Pretty sad really.

So anyway, I guess I'll have to come up with something newer and more innovative than Lady Balls to describe outstanding brave women with. To be honest, It's probably better this way....because balls are easily harmed (one tap and you've got yourself a genuine door stop). Vaginas can take a beating...

I know that I don't blog as much as I would like to (and as much as YOU would like as well *wink wink*) BUT that does not give the right to raid my shit like it's a Baltimore convenience store. That being said, ok fine, it isn't trademarked. Not like I'm going to take up every  Lady Balls web address, hoard all the Lady Balls, and not let it be used. But seriously? Very original thinking there....Although I guess that makes me quite the innovator in my early 20's.... (biggest form of flattery and all that)

Feel free to message anything you might be able to come up with to replace the term Lady Balls. I promise I wont STEAL your idea, (and if used, you would receive credit) I could honestly just use a laugh. Something like Uterine Warrior, or Vagina Viking (that's actually a pretty good one).

Vix Out

Monday, April 6, 2015

I'm Reloading, Hold My Purse (Lady Balls: Part Deux)

Per a very special request, here it is...THIS IS A CALL TO ALL WOMEN, GIRLS, AND SOME VERY VERY GIRLY BOYS! LEND ME YOUR....i was going to say vagina, but that isn't really what I how about your eyes? Eyes it is. So you ever watch a horror film with the fam or the sexy time friend and the main leading lady thing winds up running around screaming her head off instead of thinking through the problem? (and might consider that maybe continuously running upstairs is a bad idea). Well this post is in regards to survival and women. (hint: always run when the theme music starts playing)

So for starters, you ever really notice that majority of the time in any kind of outdoor/survival situation, those of the female persuasion tend to not be so into it (unless they are awesome of course)? I completely understand. Hanging out in the cold or heat is exhausting, not showering for days on end, also not fun. I really hate freeze dried food...and bugs....and sleeping on the ground, but all in all, I never get as good of a sleep as I do when I camp. But this isn't in regards to general camping, this is if by some chance (probably a good one) something catastrophic happens and you have to suck it the fuck up and survive.

I've heard from a few, that their female counterparts do not take part in their survival ideals. I.E. food storage, medical supply storage, stocking guns/ammo, communication. I personally have encouraged all of these by being there to support my better half, as well as financially. Do I enjoy spending my money on medical supplies or radios for the car? not particularly. I'm a gamer....enough said. But I also see the need for these things and feel like it would be best to be prepared. I do not want to have to rely on the kindness of others to survive because they will be trying to survive themselves. By the by, screaming your head off, crying, falling down (multiple times), whining, and generally being an asshole will help no one. Especially you. Because they will leave your ass behind or eat you. (om nom nom)

Here's a good example of what not to do: The Road. (SPOILER ALERT: it sucked balls) I absolutely hated this movie. It was like a guide on how to be a fucking idiot. I watched this a couple years ago with my man, him thinking it would be a good learning experience, me just getting pissed off. The woman; a wife, and mother to a young child, goes absolutely banana balls, gives up on life, her husband, and her child, and completely dips out saying "peace bitches, I'm outie" and waltzes off into the cold wearing just about nothing. Like are you kidding me?! What feeble minded mewling quim (thank you Avengers) just up and leaves because they don't feel like making any decisions anymore aside from being a little bitch. (the rest of the movie was just as terrible, but this being the beginning, kinda set the tone) What do we learn from this? Be more like the chick from Vikings.

It's time to take charge of yourself, calm yo tits, and support your supporter. Now in mine and Mr. Tacticals relationship, things are more or less even. When it comes to the more tactical things, I rely on him to lead me because he is the authority on such matters in this household. When it comes to the medical chest, (even though that shit makes me woozy) that is my domain. I organize that shit like a beeotch. But that just means that when something happens, I know where things are, everything is labeled and everything is in its own container. We both do the guns because....well because they're awesome. When the time comes and something does happen, we will be (some assemblance) of prepared. Is it going to be fun? Hell no. Am I looking forward to it?

But to me, the fact that I will be alive and that my family will be protected, means more to me than.....than....indoor plumbing. hot showers? ah shit I'd miss that. But it's still more worth it to me. You need to start taking responsibility for yourself. When things go to hell, you will have no one to blame for your short comings but yourself and anyone that you allow into your life that discourages being prepared. Anyone that you allow into your inner circle that has any kind of pull on your thoughts or actions should be of like mind, or they should stay just a friend or acquaintance.

We need to be supporters in every capacity (like a boobs). Supporters of our families, of our children, of our men (or women if you're into that kind of thing) and mainly, a supporter of ourselves. So seriously now, stop pushing things to the back of your mind because they are unpleasant. Stop putting off things that should be prepared now while you still have the ability to do so. So really,

Vix out!

Saturday, April 4, 2015

Dutch Oven Your Special Someone

No, I don't mean release the fumes of hell demons and hold your unsuspecting lover under the covers until they know your scent and can never leave (don't they do that with horses?)....or you know...suffocate. I personally wouldn't want to breathe fart dust, but that's just me. Anyways, I'm talking about Dutch Oven cooking....over a fire. I've only had experience with this for about three years as Mr. Tactical is the only person I know with a Dutch Oven. Luckily, I love to cook....and camp and shoot (was overall a great weekend)

My first experience with the D.O. (got tired of typing out Dutch Oven....and again) was our first weekend camping ever (collective AWWWWWW) I got to play (ok maybe not play, "experience") with different guns as well as show off some of my wonderful cooking skills to show I was worth keeping around and had some general usefulness. (aside from being a pretty good shot...not bragging, just sayin') Now my cooking method is, look at some recipes, take the best ideas from each and then just make something absolutely mind-blowingly, food baby inducing nomage. If you come to one of his classes during September-November, you most likely will be able to sup on this as well.

Exhibit 1: Whitney's' Wilderness Stew

Normal ingredients being MEAT (nom nom nom) fresh chopped veggies, broth of some kind, and a smattering of spices. Turned out great. (obviously, I'm still here three years later) You basically get a good bed of coals going and hang the D.O. over the fire and get it nice and hot. I sauté some chopped garlic with onions and butter, add a little flour to make a roux, and then basically pour everything else in gradually. I love the D.O. because it allows it to get a nice woodsy smokey flavor without using the store bought crap. During that trip, we fired up the woodstove to keep it warm for the next day. The last time I made it, it stayed overnight in the D.O. over the fire and we had it for's that good. (Happy oh so steamy boyfriend)

Exhibit 2: MDT Chicken (no picture, sorry, we ate it)

Simple yet delicious. We took chicken quarters, placed them in the hot D.O. with soy sauce, worcestershire sauce, teriyaki, chopped garlic, (we even added orange slices) and let it simmer for about 45 minutes. We loved it, kids loved it, we even adapted it for non D.O. cooking and added Montreal steak seasoning. (I love that stuff, I even put it on my turkey)

You can do so many things with Dutch Oven (damn it) cooking. Seriously, Youtube that shit. You can make dessert (cobbler, brownies, cookies), rolls, all kinds of things. I mean seriously, food makes you happy, fuck shit up, go crazy, make new things. Find ways to make food you dislike, edible. Catch a squirrel. grill that bitch. (it's actually pretty good for a woodland creature)  I mean look at this happy (very Whitney) smiling face!

In conclusion, cook something. Your stomach and your man will thank you for it. (or whatever you decide to date....everyone likes food)

Vix Out!

Thursday, March 5, 2015

Snowmageddon 2015 and You! tips and tricks

So while sitting here in our home, snuggly and warm....well kinda warm, with Mr. Tactical, as it is snowing its balls off (haha snowballs) I realize that I'm pretty grateful for the things that I have. A house (full of blankets), warm clothes, and a warm boyfriend to stick my cold extremities on. It's times like this where I'm bundled up and working from home that I wonder, lets just say, what would have or could have happened if I did have to go to work today. I have friends that don't have anything in their car in case of emergency. I know that not most people can fit in their car is not the same as what I can put in mine, but you have to do something. I got stuck at work last week with a dead battery and no jumper cables and I felt helpless, so what would happen if say you got stuck out in the elements for even the shortest amount of time? It is cold as a witches tit outside (is that still a thing? witches tit?)

So for starters, what would you say would be good things to have in your car in case of an emergency? well for starters, what can keep you warm in an emergency? I've got plans. Plans on plans. Always have a spare change of clothes, something that will be durable and if you wind up getting wet for some reason, you have something dry to change into. I have a blanket as well as a sleeping bag in my car just in case I get stranded for any amount of time in the below freezing temperatures. I also have a pair of Matterhorn insulated boots....ebay...$45, it isn't that difficult to plan for emergencies Having some form of nibbles or snackums handy wouldn't be such a bad idea either, i mean really, all of that chihuahua shivering really burns some calories.

Another good idea would be to have some kind of first aid preps in place just in case there are cuts and scrapes along the way as well as if you run into others that may have had some mishaps. You know me, I've done other posts concerning medical supplies and how I am about hoarding useful things (*cough* boyfriend *cough*). 

Two words: FLARE GUN (you know, if that kind of thing is legal in your state) It doesn't take up much space and can be put underneath a seat or something. It could mean the difference between being stuck in a snow drift and no way for anyone to find you (turning into a human popsicle...mmmm delicious) and being found by another driver.

Also, (unfortunately) if you have kids that are driving (ok she isn't mine, but.....she's mine) it would be good to have them prepped to the point where their friends look in the trunk and go "O EM GEE I can't even!" (yeah....that serious) Get them one of those window breaky/seat belt cutty things, fill every nook and cranny with useful things and make sure they know how and when to use them. Keep yo kids safe. I've got a hand crank cell phone charger in my vehicle in case my car and my phone die. You know how kids are with cell phones...

Basically all you need to do is just think "hmmm if I was stuck in the cold, what could i not live without for at least a couple of hours" and then stuff as much of that shit in your car as you possibly can without seeming like one of those weird car hoarders where it't nothing but empty food containers and clothes.

Oh! and my cat caught a mouse today! 

So I'm going to sit here all snuggled up with my guy and my pup, under my fuzzums blanket, full of pizza, and watch a movie. Be safe, stay warm, and keep prepping!

Vix Out

Tuesday, February 10, 2015

Motivational and Shit

So it's come to my attention that there has been a bunch of hate going on lately in our small community and it has pretty much touched everyone (like that creepy dude no one wants to be around at parties). So seriously. Get Your Shit. Karma will sort it out so really, it's ok. So much hate has been flying around and much of it is a bunch of bull. So really. Control people....

Go eat a cheese burger. Have awesome sex. Watch a movie. Take a nap. I mean seriously calm yo tits. I wish i had the cheeseburger but i fully intend on doing the other things at some point today.

 The only thing that you can do in the current situation, is be yourself, trust in god (if you so choose, not trying to go all religious debate here) and chill the eff out. You don't have to answer to anyone at the end of the day but yourself. So if you're fucking up, fix it. If you're fucking someone over, fix it. If you need to be fucked, fix it (in a non-rapey way). It is up to you to decide what is and is not ok in your life, and fix it. Or to accept the shit that happens, and just live your life and move on. If your sole purpose is to try and sabotage someone....seriously....check yourself. See what is wrong in your life and make a change...possibly into an awesome whale.

I'm not saying I'm not guilty of this. I just realized that it isn't important to let others screw with you without your consent. Trying to fuck with someones life is a personal issue and maybe you should consider getting your head checked....or see a therapist...or that super cool whale. I have so many issues. I have problems, I have a job, I have a life, I have a boyfriend, and I make so many mistakes. But that is life. The point is to recognize the bad and bomb the shit out of that m'fer.

Ok so enough ranting. Just some shit to consider. Also a cute pibble confused about strawberries....